Day 1 and the endless what-if’s
Every time I hear door close/slam/move outside I rush to the window to see if it’s the UPS truck, waiting for the first of many Black Friday packages. I look like a nosy neighbor meets one of those “Garfield on the window” suction things you’d see everywhere in the 90’s. Each year I tell myself to not give in to the many sales, but when there are certain books and TV shows that went on uber sale…yeah, just can’t help myself! I also have the another hardbound and paperback copy of my book arriving soon. Hardbound should be in on Wednesday the 3rd and the paperback by the 10th.
So, anyway, today is Day 1, release day, introvert nightmare that shall be known as the day The Heart of the North officially released to the public. I took the day off of my fulltime job due to anxiety, which I’m positive the medium roast french press I’m currently drinking isn’t exactly helping my nerves. Trying to balance it with Bob’s Burgers. I think I have a recipe that should work, lol. Is it working? Maybe? We’ll find out when the caffeine keeps me awake long past when I should be asleep. Yay! Have tomorrow off anyway, plenty of time to pretend to nap due to exhaustion :) Self-deception is a human right!
But yeah, The Heart of the North went live on Kindle and can be ordered physically on Amazon, B&N, Books-a-million, Thriftbooks, Ingramspark, bookshop.org etc. As someone prone to overthinking every single aspect of their life, especially when it involves anything public, I can’t help but consider the infinite number of avenues, the endless what-if’s not only leading up to the day, but what to do after. Was the book edited enough? That’s easy - no. I could edit till the end of days and beyond. Is the cover good enough? I dig it… Instagram on point? Social media and I have never been acquaintances, or we’re just really bad roommates who know the others exists but can’t communicate worth a damn. Is the story fleshed out enough with interesting characters and events? I feel it is. I only write what I enjoy reading.
The endless what-if’s are a plague on sanity. Eventually, they will calm down, but truly never be put to rest. If anyone else reads this who might be releasing their fantasy book (doesn’t have to be fantasy, but it’s what I read and write) soon or have just released it feeling AAH! then please remind yourselves that you did it and you should be proud of yourself. Regardless of what happens, it’s difficult to put your heart into something and then leave it out there for others to enjoy, scrutinize, disparage, dismiss, and many other emotions/actions. Ultimately, as long as you’re happy :) And don’t freak out like I am, lol, does you no good, especially since it’s my life goal to live off of what I write. Oops…
Hope your December is going well :)
Patrick
Word of the day - Agathokakological: composed of both good and evil. Lasira uses it during a debate with Wil in The Heart of the North. Love that word and wanted to find a way to confuse my boy with it, lol.